The Issue with Cooking

We all have things in our lives that we are afraid of. I think we don't face those fears because we know that it will be messy, painful and hard to change. I have a fear of most things that have to do with cooking and all that is somewhat related to it. Growing up, my mom never let me or my siblings in the kitchen because we would make a mess. Needless to say that it didn't exactly foster my desire to learn how to cook. In school we had to take cooking lessons and my fear carried over and it prevented me from starting from scratch. Rather, I hoped that those lessons would pass as quick as possible with as little damage as possible. Some days I succeeded but most of the time I hated those lessons with a passion. Living in residence, I didn't have to worry about cooking since there was a cafeteria. Every once in a while I was made aware of how little I knew about cooking or baking, it was at those moments that I felt ashamed and didn't want anyone to know. Like I didn't want anyone to realize that I had never baked cookies and that I was afraid of burning them anyways. When my life in residence was done I moved to an apartment with two other girls. We only ever cooked small things like Sidekicks, other noodles and some veggies. We hardly had meat because it was expensive, well except for meatballs which we stuck in the microwave. So, for the past 5 years I have been able to get by without much cooking. Every once in a while I would get a burst of confidence and whip something up and for the most part it didn't turn out badly. My fear of failing was crippling me though and held me back from being more adventuresome.